"Back From The Edge"

"now and then I wonder where the faces
from my childhood have gone"

A couple of lines taken from the Bruce Dickinson song that I borrowed the title of for the name of this post. "Back From The Edge". No, not some suicide edge, or edge of terrible decision or even great decision, you know I dont work that way, or atleast I hope you do. Back from the edge of where one can comfortable sit beyond their personal borders before they lose little pieces of who they are. Before they can retain the portions of them selves that makes them....them.

The leading sentence mentioned wondering about the faces of childhood. I dont normally wonder about other faces of childhood. They went out of my life for purposes of their own, some forever, and some maybe ill see again. I'm more focused on my face during my childhood. Face bearing the title of what I was seen as, not just by others, but by my self. I'd like to title my self as certainly careless, a bit rough around the edges (if indeed edges existed in certain areas). I wonder if all this time I have been wandering to the edge of that which I am, and how long I have been doing so. What has changed that I could see if i took time to look at it, or ever worse, what changed that I cannot see because of the edge?

Is it safe to even call it an edge? Is there really a point were a person can stop being different and stop changing? I feel like that I'm done with that edge for now, and while somethings had to change and much to Peter Pan's ire, I have to stay grown up. However I think im ready to regain that person back that I was, not afraid of anything, determined to do what is needed to succeed instead of allowing my self to fall in as average.


"

A silent river flowing black
strange attractions no turning back
present danger I recall
that pins my senses to the wall
back from the edge where the darkness has fled
and I'm swimming
in light and I'm falling... falling from the edge...
back from the edge
I fell from grace and that's a fact
still have urges I fight back
cold decisions wear me thin
kill yourself begin again
back from the fear
that you're not worth a damn
throw yourself
into light and the rush as you
sign from the edge...
back from the edge...
now and then I wonder where the faces
from my childhood have gone
like father like son your bones it lives on glowing shadows
back from the edge"